I used to think I sucked at gardening.
I didn't say it out loud.
But I thought it.
A lot.
Usually while standing in my garden, holding a half-dead plant, wondering what exactly I'd done to deserve this level of botanical devastation.
Because here's the thing... I didn't not care.
I cared enough to:
- go to the garden centre
- pick plants I genuinely loved
- spend money I absolutely did NOT need to spend
...and then bring them home and watch them slowly decline.
Not immediately. That would have been easier.
No, just enough time to give me hope first.
The Cycle That Kept Repeating
It goes something like this...
I'd walk into the garden centre, feel inspired, and think,
"This is it. This is the year I finally have the garden of my dreams."
I'd pick:
- a few flowering plants
- something interesting
- something I was pretty sure I'd seen in a magazine*
*we are talking about pre-Pinterest era Michelle
Then I'd get home, plant everything, step back, and feel a brief moment of pride.
Followed closely by,
"Does this even look good?"
But I'd dug the holes and made the decisions, so I'd leave it.
Inevitably, something would struggle, something would flop, and something would aggressively take over like it paid the mortgage.
(I'm looking at you, Bugleweed.)
And I'd end up in the same place, wondering,
"Why does this look like a "before" photo?"
Eventually, I landed on what felt like a very reasonable explanation:
Like my mum before me, I'm just not good at gardening.
You know those people who are just born with a "green thumb"?
Yeah, that's not me.
Why Information Alone Didn’t Fix My Garden
So I did what most people try to do when something isn't working. I tried to fill the gaps with information.
I read articles.
I looked things up.
I tried to follow advice.
"Plant this in full sun."
"Water deeply, less often."
"Add compost."
Great.
Except...I still didn't know:
- how well my soil holds moisture
- how much time I was willing (and able) to dedicate to the garden
- what I wanted my garden to feel like
So I'd learn something new, and then go right back to guessing.
What Actually Changed Everything
The turning point wasn't dramatic.
There was no montage. No emotionally manipulative music.
Just a slightly humbling realization...
I had been trying to build a garden without ever fully understanding the conditions I was working with.
I was:
- choosing plants before understanding their requirements
- making decisions without thinking about my actual time and energy
- trying to recreate ideas that were designed for someone else's space
In other words, I wasn't bad at gardening.
I just didn't have clarity.
So, instead of asking,
"What should I plant?"
I started asking,
"What is actually happening in this space?"
"Where does the sun hit...for how long...and when?"
"What has already survived here without much help?"
"How much time do I really want to spend on maintenance?"
Not ideally. Not aspirationally.
Honestly.
After that, things got easier.
Not perfect.
But clearer.
I stopped buying plants just because they looked pretty, and I had a space that needed to be filled. I allowed myself, and my garden, the time and space to see patterns.
That meant I could make fewer, more intentional decisions. Based on what was already happening.
Slowly - almost painfully slow for someone like me - my garden started to look like it made sense.
How to Start a Garden That Works for Your Life
There is so much free gardening advice out there, and a lot of it is good. Really good.
But most of it answers the question,
"What should I do?"
Very little of it helps you answer,
"What makes sense for me, here, in this garden, with this life?"
And that's the part that actually changes things.
You don't feel like you're guessing anymore.
You don't feel like you're getting it wrong.
You start to feel...dare I say...capable. Even when things don't go perfectly.
Because they won't.
So, whether you're an absolute beginner or somewhere in the middle... don't give up.
You're not as far off as you think.
You probably just need to see your garden in a new way.
And once that clicks... you won't feel like you suck at gardening anymore.
